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...childhood is like water through my fingers. it is slipping and running out..and i have no way to restrain it.
except maybe through the portal that is avalon.ph.
http://blog.avalon.ph/2009/08/win-a-sign
- Mood:
melancholy - Music:one headlight, the walllflowers
It’s true what they say about getting older and wisdom, the two always go together. Don’t fear that you haven’t learned anything yet from your life, because I’m telling you, you have. And whatever it is you’ve learned will show itself during opportune moments.
Right now, at twenty-five years of age, I feel old. I understand I’m not yet that old, but there are moments when I feel wearied. But I also like to think that I’m a lot wiser now than I was, say, ten years ago.
Speaking of which, I always wish I could go back. I would do some things differently. For one, and I say this with complete honesty, I would study harder. And I would pay more attention to my teachers and professors.
I would be more involved. I would pursue my dreams more aggressively. I would have more fun. I would listen more. More. More. More. There were a lot of things I would do better and more of.
I talked to my girl the other day. I am, once again, trying to pursue my dream. I told her that if I didn’t get it at around late January or early February next year, I would go back to school. I will prepare and equip myself so the world will begin considering me fit for my dream.
Desire isn’t enough, good intentions aren’t enough. One must also have the tools to do what they want. And if they won’t give me any, I will make some for myself.
- Mood:
contemplative - Music:Killswitch Engage - This Fire Burns
isa sa mga malalaking paradox sa kalye ay, pag nagmamadali ka at ayaw maistorbo, ang daming mga batang makukulit na nagbebenta ng ipit. pero pag willing ka naman bumili, mawawala sila. or pagkakabili mo lng ng mango shake, hihingin nila. pero kanina, naghahanap si arcon ry ng bata kasi gusto niya bigyan ng pizza, wala naman. hindi naman masama yung intentions ko in saying this, and i hope it doesn't come across as elitist, pero yun nga.tigilan na ninyo lahat si katrina halili. ayoko manghusga ng tao pero malapit na siya maging punchline. kahit artista siya na may sex video, deserve naman niya ang konting privacy. parang si britney. saka kawawa naman yung mga dati pa naabuso ng sex videos, yung mga biktima ng trafficking. dati pa sila sumisigaw, wala naman nakakarinig.
i really get annoyed at this fast growing trend among some guys to treat this haiden issue as a badge of coolness. you know this,you hear it all the time: in the mrt, in jeepneys, in cozy pizza parlors, guys hunker around talking in loud voices, outdoing each other in the latest "who has the newest lewd scoop" game. this is another example of a DICK-MEASURING, TESTOSTERONE-DRIVEN, SUBSTITUTE-FOR-SUBSTANTIAL-CONVERSATION ACTIVITY. stop it already. just because you have a converter and you've downloaded the latest "haiden and _____ (insert name of poor starlet here)" video does not mean you are cool. it only demonstrates your lack of finesse. if you have to engage in macho shit one-upmanship, do so in hushed, embarassed voices, as is appropriate.
minsan dumadating sa buhay ng tao na parang hindi mo na kaya. kahit piitin mo, ayaw na talaga ng sarii mo e. hindi mo na kayang lokohin ang sarili mo, kasi ang sarili mo na mismo ang umaayaw. sa huli ang pagsisisi. pero kung mangyari ito sa buhay mo, dyan ka lang. maghintay ka lang.mahirap talaga ang maging bundat. pero itatae mo rin yan. promise.
- Location:dorm
- Mood:
full - Music:ryan's heavy breathing
1. Mabuti nang tamad, hindi naman pagod.
2. Wag muna gawin ngayon ang pwede pa namang ipagpabukas.
3. Hindi lahat nadadaan sa sorry. Kung ganoon lang din, bakit pa may pulis?
4. Pagdating sa alak, hindi ibig sabihin ng magarang bote ay masarap na inumin.
5. Kapang nagiinuman, respetuhin ang Red Horse. Wag magsisinungaling at magsisimula ng usapang hindi tatapusin.
6. Ang horse fly ay nangangagat din ng tao. Pangako.
7.Kung ayaw mo magsalita at pinilit ka, sabihin mo lang "brevity is the soul of wit." Tapos ang usapan.
8. Wag mong isiping maliit ka kumpara sa iba. Kung nararamdaman mo ito, isipin mo na lang na lahat tayo tumatae.
- Mood:
confused - Music:R.E.M. - Imitation of Life
She whiles away the time by - well, how else does someone like her pass the time? - letting it go pass her and allowing herself to be carried away wherever time goes.
She vividly remembers this senseless, rather funny conversation with a friend: "How will we get there?" "Why, ride the wind of course!" And then the friend will gesture his arms in such a way that imitates a paper or probably a leaf that is being carried away by the wind. They ride the public transport after then.
The sad thing is, that is just half of it. Because in her mind's eyes, time sometimes breaks. And it stops carrying her all of a sudden, like a ship stuck in the middle of a desert or a hapless whale brought to the shore by the waves. And when it does break, she is left with nothing to do but stand her ground and again, wait.
Parts of her are chipping off, slowly. Deliberately. And she doesn't feel anything, really. It is as if her early warning device is broken. And then one day, she looks at the mirror and realizes that parts of her are missing. And she is forever lost and unable to understand how things happened or where will she go to recover them back.
Even if time breaks, in an ironic, movie-kind of way, sun shines and light creeps in and kills the shadows. She smiles and feels happy, even for a while. And for a while, she is reminded of things delightful and things long gone and missing.
But she'd spent a little too much time waiting in the shadows already. She's learned to embrace it and be at peace with it. She is, however, still grateful that time still marches on for others. She wishes to join them again someday soon.
- Mood: confused
- Music:R.E.M. - World Leader Pretend
What is the matter this time?
Pizza, beer, and us sound fine
Hey, would you like to come?
We can go some place far and high
and be alone together for a while
But not too far, not that high
because others are waiting behind
I'll listen if you need to talk and share
and I'll probably share some as well
Or we can just be quiet and stare
watch the lights dance the night away
And in between words and silence
I won't forget to slip in this one:
Our shadows look good side by side
and I want you smiling all the time
We can go some place far and high
and be alone together for a while
But not too far, not that high
because others are waiting behind
Because others are waiting for us behind
- Mood: confused
- Music:R.E.M. - Shiny Happy People
The rain was intermittent that early evening, with the occasional lightning that kept breaking the otherwise deep, dark sky. She was walking towards Robinson's Place to meet up with a friend she hadn't seen for a long while. Rina thought the timing was perfect; after all, she was then having a hard time with her long-time boyfriend and she badly needed someone to talk to. The wind chilled the air and Rina was without a jacket.
While walking, Rina casually slid her hand inside her pocket to get her cigarette pack and lighter. She stopped outside 7 Eleven to take a drag and send a text message to ask if her friend had already arrived. While waiting for the reply, her thoughts drifted to her problems - finances, relationships, career, and life in general; her thoughts drifted like cigarette smoke, lingering and haunting.
She continued to walk after she got the reply and upon reaching the next block, she saw the vagrant man sitting on the pavement. The man was old, probably in his mid-sixties. He was covered with dirt and he was talking to himself while all the time holding a cigarette in one hand and signaling with his other that he needed a light.
Rina saw the man and had already decided that the man's nothing but a hobo. She walk passed him and then it hit her to offer the man a light. The old man might be lost in his own upturned and disjointed world, Rina thought, but he wanted and needed a light. Rina believed she wouldn't want to be trapped in a place with a cigarette stick and with no means possible whatsoever to light it.
So, she turned around and saw that someone else had offered the vagrant a light and provided him even with a few more sticks. She was unable to move then and felt sad for reasons she still couldn't explain until now. She continued walking, having realized that there's nothing more she could do. She threw her half-smoked stick, having noticed that, after all of a sudden and even after the rain had stopped, it tasted stale and bland.
- Mood: confused
- Music:R.E.M. - Stand
I once gave a sack of well-milled rice to Bojo. It wasn’t really a gift, but I guess you can still call it that. Bojo, by the way, is my long-time friend and lover. Sometimes we are lovers but usually, we are just friends.
Anyway, this happened when his hometown was hit by a tornado. This wasn’t just any other tornado, mind you, but one of those really strong, destructive ones. Luckily for me, it didn’t hit my house. Bojo’s place, sadly, was really wrecked.
I went to his place after making sure that it was safe to go out because you never really know with these things. He cried after seeing the sack of rice right in front of his door. He looked devastated but his face really glowed then. He held on to me tightly and told me that both the rice and I will live forever in his heart.
- Mood:
drained - Music:Sigur Ros - Gobbledigook
I’ve always wanted to be a magician and that’s why I’m very grateful that Dexter “Dazzler” Priconio adopted me. The funny thing is I never knew what he really looked like because he’s always wearing white paint on his face. I also remember the stars painted on his eyes and the big clown-like smile drawn on his lips.
He adopted me when I was still little. His circus was in our town one day and he saw me, there in the streets, making a living out of selling garlands. He asked me if I wanted to join his circus and I said yes.
I watched him and his tricks for many years but I have to say that his most special quality shone through when he was alone with us, his circus, at night. He was like a father to us, and he made sure that our stomachs were full before we went to bed.
After Mr. Priconio died, the circus decided I should become the new “Dazzler” since I was his assistant for a long time. Without his guidance, I believe I won’t be able to work in the circus and will not be where I am now.
- Mood:
pessimistic - Music:Joy Division - Atmosphere
- Mood:
lethargic
